week four!!! (ARGH!!!)

I really can’t believe I’m writing this post for week four! The time has gone sooooo quickly here!! donc...Monday...today....I actually did LOADS of work...i started an abstract type piece....took progress photo’s all the way through...and i think i prefere the photo’s...hummm...so anyway...met Chris (Toff), and we went shopping for some food to make dinner...Curry in the end...yummm...I wish I could have recorded the Kitchen scene...alors...picture this...French homme...the French, en general are pretty good cooks...so...imagine French man almost ripping his hair out cause English girl (moi), doesn’t add salt to the rice...AND almost lets a rice cake touch the extremely poisonous potato peelings!!! Arrrrrrrrrgh!!-run pour le hills! Poor Chris (Toff)...thinks ‘my English’ way of cooking may have given him nightmares...he did have seconds though....so can’t have been that bad...

Hello (Ruby) Tuesday! Donc....i caught up with some crit work déjà...i met Mary a la Flunch and we surfed the net (totally awesome, dude), and walked around lingerie shops...laughing at the stupid prices and trying on Chanelle bras. Just because...suffices to say...we didn’t actually buy anything! Ermm....yes...so Mary, Lizzzzzzzzzzzziiiii and i went for a curry...was rather tasty, i must say...I swear that there must be a secret way to ask for tap water...it almost certainly doesn’t include making tap twisting notion with your hands, (easily to be mistaken for twisting the cap of off bottled water), and making strange whooshing noises...hummm...when in doubt...anyway...Indian tonic water is niche zer gut at all. Anyway...the meal went rather well...we finished all the food and Mary didn’t spill or break any glasses...result! Après the meal we walked to boite a beire...our favourite Bar in town...Chris (stripes-not gorgeous Chris with sexy smile), and Tatiana was there playing pool...we ordered our beers and had a couple of games with them...Tatiana and i won! (YEY)...Pierre and Kevin turned up...so there was quite a crowd of us...we headed off early around 1.30am ish (!!!) Good night, methinks! So long, farewell, avidos et Bon nuit!

So....art school again today...sat in Mary et liiiiiiizzziiii’s studio...did lots of crit reading and ate lots of nuts...yum...in fact, too many nuts, i think....can you die from eating too many nuts? Maybe. Anyway...too many nuts are not good. Enough said. Alors...met Monsieur sexy smile... (Oui, oui...je Sais...AGAIN!!) he made himself some sort of Chicken/mushroom thing; i had a banana and more nuts... We watched chat noir et chat blanc, a slightly strange, but very funny film...kinda reminded me of Borat...was good though!! C’est touts!

So...late start today...think I’ve given up sleep as well as Chocolate and Cheese...OH YESSSSS...je forgot to tell you I gave up choc and Cheese when I arrived here!! The cold turkey was awful, but I recognized that I was choceese-aholic and that i had a serious problem which needed addressing...do you know, they have GRAND baby bells here...oui, c’est vrai. I don’t think its healthy to eat a whole big one (!) in one go...hummm...donc... i have resisted temptation for a month maintennant. OH yes!!! –come to think of it...i think ive replaced the whole cheese/choc addiction avec French nuts...they just seem to taste a whole lot better here...probably cause everything has extra salt on it. Anyway...back to what i actually did today- thursday, don’t you know... Lizz text me...apparently some gals at the art school had invited us out ce soir...to a punk gig!!! YEY!!! –girls at the art school wanted to befriend us with no ‘Hamid’ characters in sight! Finalement!!!

Okay...no such luck...turns out “overly friendly girls” are hardcore punk lesbians. Only in france...eh?!---we are defiantly NOT in Rome, and we sharnt be doing any Romans or French lesbians...thank you very much. Donc...we watch a German band perform (all blokes), dressed up in very small Disney costumes with red fishnet tights.... (I’ve seen a whole new side to snow white and her two dwarfs). –Eeeew!

Bonjour Friday!!! Nearly le weekend! So enthousiaste! Went to Mary’s armed with Mango, figs and (yes, you’ve guessed it), more nuts! A turn out the mango is manky...so...nuts it is then...oh...(although you may question my train of thought here, ) but one thing I’ve decided, is the only thing that’s better in England, (a mon avis), is the toilets. Seriously...I don’t think I’ve actually had a comfy visit to any toilet depuis ive been here...as you may remember, mines broken...you’ll be pleased to hear ive perfected the art, (cause it IS an art), of balancing on my toilet...its like this...brace your hands on the wall opposite, slowly lower...lean forward, resting your head between your hands against the wall, (making a strong triangle shape), keeping your thighs tense ready for sudden seat sliding motions, as in the toilet seat moving, not any bowel movements ...yer...anyway... Voila. Donc... toilet yoga... anyway...enough of that. went to internet cafe to type up emails/blog...We have just all had home made milkshakes with a touch of froth... HAHAHA!!! O.k. not funny...Anyway...ended the day with Hannah, Mary and Lizz coming to mine...i made them (unsalted) thai rice, chilli and sweet sauce mixed with (unsalted) veg on a bed of (unsalted) seaweed! YUMMMM!! –who says the English can’t cook!!

Saturday!!!! Alllllllllllllllllright! Read the twenty five pages worth of text Shaun sent me today...and caught up with work en general. Met Mary at 19heures pour going to Flunch to try to talk to mum...the internet wifi system was down. (Slightly annoying). Lizz had left her phone at the internet cafe so we couldn’t contact her...I came up with the marvellous idea of going to her flat and ambushing her and some going out clothes, smuggle her back to mine to drink wine and go out dancing. One problem... as Lizz didn’t have her phone, we wouldn’t be able to ring her to get her to come and open the security gate to actually get to her flat. Hummm...We decided to walk there anyway and sing songs from Sweeney Todd until she heard us...we got lost on the way there...and finally made it to the big gate...which was UNLOCKED! Murky buckets!!!...Lizz was absolutely delighted to see us, bien sur...And we were soon all walking to mine. Alors, before we had drunk even a drop of wine, we started to dress up in different styles...80’s first...chavs, (Vicky pollard styli), cone heads and finally princess layer...hilarious...oh yes...it gets better...I came up with the brilliant idea of us all dressing up like Goths, (just for a laugh like,) with lots of black makeup, (think Amy winehouse gone spaz). Bonne idea...anyway...got loadsa funny photos...we left the house at about 1.30am ish, and headed to emporium; club/bar opposite mine. I got mjoito avec florescent sticks (yey!!!)...the girls; rum et coke. We found a table...some how I managed to break my florescent stick thing, and flick the content all over the bar tender and surrounding floor and wall, whilst Lizz decided to pour her drink in my lap. It was actually rather funny. Anyway...we headed out as vite as possible...its a good job I managed to wangle tickets to a ticket only members club off the bar tender before we decided to re-decorate the place. Donc...Kiosque night club...we’re queuing for about 15 mins, in the freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing froid...not good. We are dancing for about 5 mins, before we are attacked by French Asians. Yes. Of the ‘Hamid’ type. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH...run away. (Monty Python styly) So...eventually, Mary finds a nice guy, ‘Maxim’ to er...danse avec...and Lizzzziii and i have to pretend to be lesbians, (punk rock/Amy winehouse styly) to ward off all Hamids!! Nightmare. We are NOT going back to that club! NO. WAY. Donc...i get in about 5am ish, and go to bed.

Sunday...end of the week...its going so quickly...i really don’t want it to be week five. Lizz and Mary swing by my gaff to pick me up in their Mercedes Benz...and we head on down to Flunch still wearing the remains of last nights makeup, (i swear Goths must have some sort of white spirit substance to get rid of the stuff...)...we have le salad...et...i have the first lot of Chips ive had for over a month! YUM! With nonuts!!!(HA!) I manage to talk to mum online via msn...way ta go maman!! I send a picture of Chris/ monsieur yummy and keep forgetting that im on webcam and ma can see my exasperated expressions at the 10 second mic speaker delay! So....we head on back chez moi...and regard ‘sleepy hollow’ in the dark....the girls partier et, je go to the laundrette. I sit there for an hour or so reading ‘p.s.i love you’; riveting I know. Anyone who’s reading this; please send me some decent books to read...preferably something scary, something to get the pulse going a bit, (as there’s no pictures of ‘Gerry’ in this edition of the novel!!) si t’plait!!